Public Toilets: The Darwin Connection

For those of you who have read www.darwinawards.com, have you ever caught yourself thinking: "Golly, how could that guy have been so stupid?"

Well, actually if any of your thoughts include the word "golly" you're quite possibly a choad, but the answer is quite plain. Most people are stupid, and this is clearly evident to anyone who has used a Port-a-Jon or public restroom.

There seem to be battalions of people who don't know how to tell if someone is in the stall. Neither illiteracy nor color blindness explains it, as it doesn't matter what sort of lock it has, whether it reads "OCCUPIED" when it's locked or if it simply shows a little red indicator when it's locked - dumbasses will still try to come in. These simply have to be the exact same people who set running chainsaws down on their thighs and accidentally walk into freight trains, because it takes all of half a second to glance down to see if the thing is locked, and thus occupied.

It wouldn't even be so bad if they gave the door a gentle tug, then having ascertained that it's locked, left and took their rampant stupidity elsewhere. No, they will actually pull it again harder - apparently to try to pull the door off the hinges..the exact same mindset that causes mental dwarves worldwide to wire their electric toothbrushes into car batteries and modify plastic cap guns to fire 12 ga. shotgun slugs.

For any of you infrahumans that may be reading this, I have included the following instructions:

1. It looks at the lock. On the picture above you will see that coincidentally this is located right where you put your dickskinner to pull the door open.

2. If the little indicator says "occupied", is red, has a little picture of a dude taking a crap, or otherwise would lead one to believe that someone is in there...well, someone's in there, so go away.

3. If the little indicator is green, nobody is likely in there. If it says "vacant", it is aware of your mental state. Feel free to go on in and do whatever it is that morons do when they are in the toilet.

Baby steps...