Farcebook
I never had a Facebook account, just as I never had a MySpace - that compendium of ridiculously ugly and poorly laid-out webpages - account, because I never understood the purpose. I have e-mail, I chat on the odd forum, I have a telephone, and - go figure - I actually see live and in person most of the people I talk to. Nearly every day.
But I have friends that send me Facebook invitations from time to time, and after awhile one talked me into making an account. And after a week, well, I still didn't get it and disabled the thing.
At first it was neat to interact with folks that I hadn't seen in over 20 years and know that they're still alive and kicking, but after the novelty wore off in about a day I tried hard to figure out why it's so popular. I can't figure out what is so special about it that you couldn't do with stuff that already exists on the web.
Let's see...the 'friends list'. Lotta people here, but how many will I ever really talk to or could actually be considered a 'friend'? There's people I hung out with in high school, but I'm 40 years old now and haven't talked to them in ages. You really have little in common any more - half of 'em are Bible-thumpers now. There's people sending friend requests who are also from the past, but I didn't speak to them much then and I'm about twice as unlikely to now. There's requests from people I can't even remember, or were friends of a friend of a friend. There's people I speak to in person all week, and people I talk to on other sites or via e-mail or phone anyway. I think users just collect 'friends' like little digital trophies to make them feel good about themselves and delude themselves into thinking that they are actually popular.
Let's look at the main part - the 'wall'. This is a good name for it, as it's like reading a hodgepodge of grafitti on a real wall, but less amusing. I've got:
1. Absolutely random quotations and Bible verses. There's one guy that posts nothing but these.
2. Even more random lines from various songs. One day a guy posts "These boots are made for walking, and that's just what they'll do; one of these days these boots are going to walk all over you." A full 72 hours later after numerous unrelated comments from other people he says "Are you ready boots? START WALKIN'!!!" Then a couple hours later he channels Dave Mustaine and asks the immortal "PEACE SELLS...BUT WHO'S BUYING???!?!?!" Like #1, this guy posts nothing but these, and they never have anything to do with anything anybody else said. It's kind of creepy, to be honest.
3. Updates on the utterly mundane, like 'Well, I'm off to work.', or 'I'm trying to understand Boolean operators. Yuk!' Boy, I'm sure glad that I'm being kept apprised of these earth-shattering events.
4. Joe is now friends with Marsha.
5. So-and-so has given you (insert random item which is used in a game you don't play.)!
6. Really sophomoric and uninspired 'deep thoughts'.
7. John has leveled up in Mafia Wars!
8. Pictures of people, most of whom I don't have the foggiest idea who they are.
And that's just about it. It reads as if you gave a group of lunatics the ability to make a web page. And if you post a comment about something, here comes some friend of a friend that you don't even know to try to correct or chastise you, because it isn't really 'your' wall. It's everybody's. And their post will begin thus..."I don't know you, but...". Well, here's a news flash. Since you don't know me what in the hell would give you the collossally mistaken impression that I give a flying fuck about anything you have to say?
Then we have the cheesy little turn-based games. A farm on which no disaster ever occurs, an aquarium populated by pixels, and a mafia game where machine guns and 'Haitian Relief Drums' can be used with equal aplomb. Also candy canes. Yay.
You have a chat feature, just like an IM program. You have an inbox, just like e-mail. You have a photo album, just like Photobucket.
People are amused by any crap, it seems. And more than willing to give out all their personal details and any expectation of privacy in pursuit of mindlessness. I've given up trying to understand any of it. Don't even get me started on Twitter.
But I have friends that send me Facebook invitations from time to time, and after awhile one talked me into making an account. And after a week, well, I still didn't get it and disabled the thing.
At first it was neat to interact with folks that I hadn't seen in over 20 years and know that they're still alive and kicking, but after the novelty wore off in about a day I tried hard to figure out why it's so popular. I can't figure out what is so special about it that you couldn't do with stuff that already exists on the web.
Let's see...the 'friends list'. Lotta people here, but how many will I ever really talk to or could actually be considered a 'friend'? There's people I hung out with in high school, but I'm 40 years old now and haven't talked to them in ages. You really have little in common any more - half of 'em are Bible-thumpers now. There's people sending friend requests who are also from the past, but I didn't speak to them much then and I'm about twice as unlikely to now. There's requests from people I can't even remember, or were friends of a friend of a friend. There's people I speak to in person all week, and people I talk to on other sites or via e-mail or phone anyway. I think users just collect 'friends' like little digital trophies to make them feel good about themselves and delude themselves into thinking that they are actually popular.
Let's look at the main part - the 'wall'. This is a good name for it, as it's like reading a hodgepodge of grafitti on a real wall, but less amusing. I've got:
1. Absolutely random quotations and Bible verses. There's one guy that posts nothing but these.
2. Even more random lines from various songs. One day a guy posts "These boots are made for walking, and that's just what they'll do; one of these days these boots are going to walk all over you." A full 72 hours later after numerous unrelated comments from other people he says "Are you ready boots? START WALKIN'!!!" Then a couple hours later he channels Dave Mustaine and asks the immortal "PEACE SELLS...BUT WHO'S BUYING???!?!?!" Like #1, this guy posts nothing but these, and they never have anything to do with anything anybody else said. It's kind of creepy, to be honest.
3. Updates on the utterly mundane, like 'Well, I'm off to work.', or 'I'm trying to understand Boolean operators. Yuk!' Boy, I'm sure glad that I'm being kept apprised of these earth-shattering events.
4. Joe is now friends with Marsha.
5. So-and-so has given you (insert random item which is used in a game you don't play.)!
6. Really sophomoric and uninspired 'deep thoughts'.
7. John has leveled up in Mafia Wars!
8. Pictures of people, most of whom I don't have the foggiest idea who they are.
And that's just about it. It reads as if you gave a group of lunatics the ability to make a web page. And if you post a comment about something, here comes some friend of a friend that you don't even know to try to correct or chastise you, because it isn't really 'your' wall. It's everybody's. And their post will begin thus..."I don't know you, but...". Well, here's a news flash. Since you don't know me what in the hell would give you the collossally mistaken impression that I give a flying fuck about anything you have to say?
Then we have the cheesy little turn-based games. A farm on which no disaster ever occurs, an aquarium populated by pixels, and a mafia game where machine guns and 'Haitian Relief Drums' can be used with equal aplomb. Also candy canes. Yay.
You have a chat feature, just like an IM program. You have an inbox, just like e-mail. You have a photo album, just like Photobucket.
People are amused by any crap, it seems. And more than willing to give out all their personal details and any expectation of privacy in pursuit of mindlessness. I've given up trying to understand any of it. Don't even get me started on Twitter.
Labels: Facebook
posted by Soulend at 8:38 AM
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